Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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