I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
