Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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