I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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