I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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