Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
