hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have fence marks all over my body
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
