Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
