That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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