their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
