um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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