Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
