I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
