What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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