the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So here I am, sexting at work.
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