I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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