This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
