Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
