Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
