am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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