I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
