his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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