Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
