I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
