Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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