I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
