i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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