Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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