Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
