ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
