No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
