I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
