apparently the secret to your success is patron
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
