I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
