I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
