Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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