you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I touched a dick in church today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
