I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
