Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
