Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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