Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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