its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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