I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
