Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
