she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
