Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
