The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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