Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
