dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
