new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
