He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
