Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
