you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
