He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
