I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
