I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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