Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
