are you still at the devil's house?
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
